Do you ever feel like you are on the edge of cliff and about to fall off? If you are like me and emotions drive the bus a lot, you probably feel this way often. The beginning of this week has been a dangling-on-the-edge-of-the-cliff kind of week.
It has not gone well. At all. We have started going to a new school that is brand new. They are working through a lot of details. It feels crazy and totally out of control. On the first day of school my kids were on the bus for two hours. Two hours?!?! It was so unnerving to not know where my kids were and if they were okay. I was such a hot mess once they got off the bus. We’re talking panic attack and ugly crying. Right off the ledge of the cliff.
We started the next morning with one sweet child not wanting to go at all. She is like me and handles the unknown with much anxiety and gnashing of teeth. I was a wreck because I, also, did not feel good about sending my littles off into the unknown.
Then, right when we were going to get into the car, my youngest (who is not in school yet), threw up. Ahhhhhh!! I finally got her in the car. We drove to school. I was fielding questions, soothing anxieties, dealing with traffic, and the littlest throws up again. And again.
The minute the two oldest get out of the car, I start crying. My husband called and I am crying so hard, I have to hang up and call back later. My little one throws up again. I can feel myself begin to slide right off the cliff again.
I start to panic, but somewhere underneath all the ugly voices comes these words, “Janelle, yesterday didn’t you read Sunday that you have an anchor of hope? What happened to that anchor of hope?” Hmmm.
When I got home, I got out my phone to read my daily verse on YouVersion. My verse yesterday was Psalm 55:22. It says,
“Cast your cares on the LORD
and He will sustain you.
He will never let
the righteous be shaken.”
I could not believe that was the verse of the day. When the verse lines up with just what I need for the day, I wonder if everyone else has that verse or was it just changed for me? God is good.
So I got a slip of paper and wrote my cares, my burdens, my worries. I prayed those worries back to God. I spoke Psalm 55:22 outloud. When it comes out of your mouth, your mind hears it and it really sinks in.
He will sustain me.
I will not be shaken.
I could feel myself hoisting one leg and the other back on top of the cliff. Calm came over me. I, then, listed the good that had occurred over the last few days. I realized I would be fine.
It was like I stood up on top of the cliff and looked around at the beauty of the world around me. It was like I dusted myself off, walked away from the cliff, and went on to the next part of my day.